The Girls from Athens

My husband signed up for a technical school to become an RV inspector and told me there were some activities for the wives to do while the guys were in class. I was here for 3 weeks so I figured, why not? 

One of the first activities I joined was a craft session. Everyone was meeting in the clubhouse and you could bring a craft to work on or something to share. I showed up without any crafts to share, although I had brought some things for myself to work on this trip. I just didn't have the materials to share it with everyone else. So I showed up empty-handed but that didn't matter. They were working on some pillows that were just tied together without any sewing. There were two or three ladies that seem to already know each other and had been doing this for a few weeks already. They told me about another lady who bought all these materials and stuffing to make these tied pillows and she left it here for everyone else when she was moving on. So I sat with them and listened to them and talked with them and made a little heart pillow that was lime green on one side and red on the other. It doesn't look like a real professional product but that's not the point; the point was I got to sit in community with these ladies and share some stories. Turns out we each had some things in common. They liked wine and they like to have parties and potlucks. We ended up planning a potluck for Saturday night followed by a bonfire. Most of them had some sort of military or law enforcement background with their husbands. They all wanted to get some exercise in the next morning we went walking around the lake getting in a couple miles. That led to invitations for more walking and possibly a wine tasting excursion although that hasn't happened yet. One of the ladies was in the nail manicure business and had brought some samples to try. I didn't get to try them that day but we exchanged Facebook information and soon we were following each other on Facebook. When the opportunity came up for another nail session, I knew I was in! I wanted to try it. 

So I took my laundry down to the clubhouse and started a load and then my friend showed up and we ended up being the only two there to do the nails that day. As it happened it was a perfect chance for us to talk, because on our last walk we were talking about spiritual things and visits from beyond after death. I shared that I had lost a son and she briefly acknowledged that she had also lost a son. So today gave us a chance to discuss that commonality and share our stories as we also gave ourselves a new manicure. We made a very comfortable and deep connection through our shared loss.

Although the circumstances of the loss of our sons was different, it was the same in that they were both tragedies and we had learned how to move on through life, never forgetting our children and still celebrating them along the way. 

I think I've made several new friends here that will probably stay in my life for a while, even if it's virtually on Facebook. We are all traveling in RVs, and while some are still working at careers online and maintain a home base, others are full-time RV'ers. As my husband and I expand and explore our travels, we may be running into these same people or even meet up with them from time to time and that would be really cool. 

Rob Reiner murdered by own son

 We heard in the news the other day that Rob Reiner and his wife had been found dead. Murdered, actually, by their own son, a son who struggled with drug addiction and whom they feared as they simultaneously endeavored to protect him and help him. 

I can relate. Watching out for a child, your child, who is in the throes of addiction or mental illness consumes your everyday thought and effort. Even as things seem to be going in a positive direction, the wheels can come off at any moment and disaster takes over. You fear that chaos and the dread that it will reappear. It affects you your relationships, your family, and every aspect of life even as you try to act normal and assimilate yourself into a normal looking lifestyle.

I feel guilty when I read about how tragically the Reiners' lives ended, as I also feel grateful that our family didn't have quite that same situation. The angel messages people received from Andrew as related to me said that he did it for me and that he loved me and that he was going to be okay. He took his own life and he spared us. One can't help but think of the biblical undertones by his act. He took his own life and relieved us of the burden of constantly worrying about him and monitoring him and trying to get him into some kind of treatment that never really took hold. It freed us to be able to go on with our own lives, and the act of being set free comes of the terrible burden of guilt which I feel and I know my daughters feel, and I'm sure my son's father and close family members feel.

That conflicted feeling that comes with this freedom is like walking a tightrope between depression and relief. The way I deal with it is to honor my son speak his name, tell his stories, and continue to share him with the people whose lives he touched. I choose to celebrate his life. 

Goodbye, Monique

 We knew you were fading and we so wanted to be by your site to comfort you and tell you how much you mean to us. Lee especially wanted to be there, but circumstances dictated that it was not appropriate. Taylor really to be there but he needed to figure out how... Mallory needed him and so did Claire, so he was feeling divided and torn and anguished. 

As you entered into Hospice, Taylor knew it was time, and he went. He stayed a week, by your side, saying and thinking all the things he wished he could hold on to. He loved you so much and he always did miss you. It was just never enough. 

Now you are gone and he is seeking ways to honor you and memorialize your existence. 

Dearest Monique

Dearest Monique,

First, I want to wish you a sweet belated birthday (08/03/25). I tried to think of something to give you that was meaningful and it took a while to figure it out. What I really want to give you is time. 

I searched the Internet and found a post by a feller by the name of Nick Deakin who was discussing how time was measured. He said:

"Without clocks, heartbeats were used to measure short increments of time in antiquity, boiling an egg, measuring speed, the number of knots on a rope when released from a ship, counted over heartbeats (approximately a second)."

I want you to know our hearts beat for you, every second, for eternity. I cherish our time spent texting and chatting as our friendship grew, and mostly, that day we spent together when you were here for Mallory's birth. That was a day in time I will always remember with awe for what it was and what it meant to Taylor to have you near. 

So I found this little clock and hope you will keep it near, and as the seconds tick on, know our hearts are treasuring you. 💕

Happy 42nd Birthday

****42****The meaning of Life

Happy birthday Andrew. Today you would have been 42 years old. It's been 16 years since we've been in your company. I hope you're flying high with the angels. We miss you!💞

This was shared to me from my sister Maryaina:

Andrew

Comments from my notes from Christopher Dilts, Angel Communicator

The analogy of Andrew needing to raise his vibration for his journey,” was he was riding a bike here on earth and he was ready to get to the next stage of his mission and needed to be flying in a jet”, to get it accomplished. He couldn’t do it from here.

We will learn from him. He is helping us let go and become more aware to have more love and acceptance of each other.  Let go of the fear.

Some will transform from this passing and some will not. Everyone will get what they choose to get from the experience. Some will need a nudge to look and see what changes their life must take so that they embrace life in a different manner. Let go of the fear.  Some will get great insight from this experience and grow. Some will close down sadly, closing off life.

What will you choose?

Many angels helped his transition. At the forefront is Archangel Michael, Protection and Archangel Zadkiel, Prayer.

Archangel Michael is dedicated to the preservation of the spiritual destiny of every soul.

Archangel Zadkiel guards the powers of invocation. The best known and most powerful form is prayer for the highest and greatest good from the deep call within your heart followed by thanks that it is heard.

After Easter is a very good time to pass over. It is a time full of grace. Many people die at this time and a high percentage by suicide. It is an easier transition and not evil in any way. It is an answer to a call to be in the ever-after for purposes our human forms do not comprehend.

Relatives were there to guide him.

Thursday April 16, 2009

April Showers

You know, I have a real love-hate relationship with April. On the one hand, everything in the outdoors is so beautiful and green. The flowers are beginning to show, starting with my calla lilies in the planter box that actually bloomed in March. It's the season of Easter and rebirth, regrowth, and renewal. What's not to love about April?

What's not to love is that we have lost so many of our dear family and friends in this month. April 15th is especially painful day for me. It is synonymous with tax day, but it is also the day my son was released from his suffering. Several years later, we lost my nephew on the 1st of April, No joke. My brother-in-law's birthday was in April and his untimely death was the catalyst to catapult me into a completely new life. But first I had to go through a long, painful season of rebirth and regrowth. 

I'm sure I could find many more parallels if I look for them, but right now the main focus is on my husband's dear best friend Jon, who went into hospice this week. He had been suffering from colon cancer for the past 3 years and it has overtaken his body. We are already grieving, praying, crying, and trying to deal with the inevitable finality that he will be leaving this Earth. We are praying along with this wife that he does accept the Lord Jesus as his Lord and Savior and enters into heaven where his wife Juliet will eventually join him in eternal life. But we know he will go straight to heaven because he's a good person. They are special couple who volunteered with us up at the racetrack and eventually got together in a very happy union. They got married on the same day as our wedding anniversary and we were so happy for them and honored to celebrate with them on that event. We also know because they got together later in life, as we did, that our time on earth is not nearly long enough, and we desperately want more time to spend together. God, Buddha, sacred spirits, a higher power, whatever it is that we believe in and gives us strength, will ultimately get us through and hold our energy forever.

Today on the 11th of April, I am looking for strength and wisdom to stand beside my husband and go through this time of grief. I will be the rock that my husband needs during this time. I know that in addition to losing his friend in current time, his emotions are coming up from all the losses he has suffered, including the loss of his mother when he was a young boy. That dark time is the one that continually haunts his dreams and shaped his future. 

But in the end, it is all out of our control. We give it up to God and ask for his forgiveness and his salvation. Amen. 

Andrew was a stand-up guy...

From a classmate—

I have a lot of fond memories with Andrew. I can't tell you how many times I saw him do the right thing when it was the hard thing to do. He was a stand-up guy, and I'll miss him.

A family who knew him through church, sports, school and socializing—

Andrew is remembered as a friend to all in our family. He was a great person to be around. He gave everything he did his best and he accomplished much. Andrew was a respectful, polite and obedient young man. A day has not passed since we learned about his death that we haven’t remembered something he said or did that brings a smile to our face. Andrew made many friends in his short time here and we consider ourselves very fortunate to be someone he touched. Kathleen, Bill, Jayne and Rebecca your son/brother is a very special person.

From a youth coach—

Andrew Ramos. What a kid. What a ball player. When I first coached Andrew in little league I knew he would give 110% all the time. It didn’t matter what position I had him play, he could do it all. He could hit, run, and field with the best.
Andrew was a very intense player and always wanted to do better each game; and he usually did. Andrew was one of the easiest kids to coach. He would listen and then would just go out on the field and do it. Sometimes Andrew would be his worst critic about how he was playing, but that didn’t matter because he would go back out there and try even harder to be the best he could.
I still remember that Ramos smile and that never ending desire to play baseball. Andrew had a real good throwing arm, so I guess I saw a quarterback in him, but that was not be because baseball was his true love.
As Andrew was getting older I would see him from time to time and he always had that big Ramos smile, and would ask: “How’s it going?” As I think about my past coaching career, Andrew always comes to mind because he was easy to coach and I could always count on him to do his best. The thing that I admired most about Andrew was his love of the game. Even though he is no longer with us, his memory will live on and will not be forgotten
Andrew, thanks for the time I got to spend with you.

My entry on the obituary guestbook—

Our loss of Andrew is so devastating and we will miss him in so many ways every day for the rest of our lives. The support we have already received from family, friends, hospital staff, employers, and everyone has been so gratifying and helpful in getting through the first week and I want everyone to know the worst is over...Andrew is safe and protected in the loving company of his grandparents, uncles and aunt who have gone before him.
It is our hope that you will remember Andrew with a smile as you perform a task, offer a service to someone, complete a project or participate in a sport or competition. As Andrew was loving and giving, so shall we endeavor to keep that spirit alive every day.

...so I think I will get up now and go clean the bathrooms and scrub some floors. I will do a thorough job and take pride in my work. That was Andrew's way...