April Showers

You know, I have a real love-hate relationship with April. On the one hand, everything in the outdoors is so beautiful and green. The flowers are beginning to show, starting with my calla lilies in the planter box that actually bloomed in March. It's the season of Easter and rebirth, regrowth, and renewal. What's not to love about April?

What's not to love is that we have lost so many of our dear family and friends in this month. April 15th is especially painful day for me. It is synonymous with tax day, but it is also the day my son was released from his suffering. Several years later, we lost my nephew on the 1st of April, No joke. My brother-in-law's birthday was in April and his untimely death was the catalyst to catapult me into a completely new life. But first I had to go through a long, painful season of rebirth and regrowth. 

I'm sure I could find many more parallels if I look for them, but right now the main focus is on my husband's dear best friend Jon, who went into hospice this week. He had been suffering from colon cancer for the past 3 years and it has overtaken his body. We are already grieving, praying, crying, and trying to deal with the inevitable finality that he will be leaving this Earth. We are praying along with this wife that he does accept the Lord Jesus as his Lord and Savior and enters into heaven where his wife Juliet will eventually join him in eternal life. But we know he will go straight to heaven because he's a good person. They are special couple who volunteered with us up at the racetrack and eventually got together in a very happy union. They got married on the same day as our wedding anniversary and we were so happy for them and honored to celebrate with them on that event. We also know because they got together later in life, as we did, that our time on earth is not nearly long enough, and we desperately want more time to spend together. God, Buddha, sacred spirits, a higher power, whatever it is that we believe in and gives us strength, will ultimately get us through and hold our energy forever.

Today on the 11th of April, I am looking for strength and wisdom to stand beside my husband and go through this time of grief. I will be the rock that my husband needs during this time. I know that in addition to losing his friend in current time, his emotions are coming up from all the losses he has suffered, including the loss of his mother when he was a young boy. That dark time is the one that continually haunts his dreams and shaped his future. 

But in the end, it is all out of our control. We give it up to God and ask for his forgiveness and his salvation. Amen. 

Andrew was a stand-up guy...

From a classmate—

I have a lot of fond memories with Andrew. I can't tell you how many times I saw him do the right thing when it was the hard thing to do. He was a stand-up guy, and I'll miss him.

A family who knew him through church, sports, school and socializing—

Andrew is remembered as a friend to all in our family. He was a great person to be around. He gave everything he did his best and he accomplished much. Andrew was a respectful, polite and obedient young man. A day has not passed since we learned about his death that we haven’t remembered something he said or did that brings a smile to our face. Andrew made many friends in his short time here and we consider ourselves very fortunate to be someone he touched. Kathleen, Bill, Jayne and Rebecca your son/brother is a very special person.

From a youth coach—

Andrew Ramos. What a kid. What a ball player. When I first coached Andrew in little league I knew he would give 110% all the time. It didn’t matter what position I had him play, he could do it all. He could hit, run, and field with the best.
Andrew was a very intense player and always wanted to do better each game; and he usually did. Andrew was one of the easiest kids to coach. He would listen and then would just go out on the field and do it. Sometimes Andrew would be his worst critic about how he was playing, but that didn’t matter because he would go back out there and try even harder to be the best he could.
I still remember that Ramos smile and that never ending desire to play baseball. Andrew had a real good throwing arm, so I guess I saw a quarterback in him, but that was not be because baseball was his true love.
As Andrew was getting older I would see him from time to time and he always had that big Ramos smile, and would ask: “How’s it going?” As I think about my past coaching career, Andrew always comes to mind because he was easy to coach and I could always count on him to do his best. The thing that I admired most about Andrew was his love of the game. Even though he is no longer with us, his memory will live on and will not be forgotten
Andrew, thanks for the time I got to spend with you.

My entry on the obituary guestbook—

Our loss of Andrew is so devastating and we will miss him in so many ways every day for the rest of our lives. The support we have already received from family, friends, hospital staff, employers, and everyone has been so gratifying and helpful in getting through the first week and I want everyone to know the worst is over...Andrew is safe and protected in the loving company of his grandparents, uncles and aunt who have gone before him.
It is our hope that you will remember Andrew with a smile as you perform a task, offer a service to someone, complete a project or participate in a sport or competition. As Andrew was loving and giving, so shall we endeavor to keep that spirit alive every day.

...so I think I will get up now and go clean the bathrooms and scrub some floors. I will do a thorough job and take pride in my work. That was Andrew's way...