Today was a success!
I visited with my high school English teacher, a warm, funny, witty and incredibly insightful person for whom I have so much respect. It has been over 30 years since I sat in her classroom, yet I can remember things she said to us then as clear as if it were yesterday. She taught us all about life in general, acceptance, imagination, giftedness...and discipline! She demanded that we work hard, pay attention in class, and push ourselves, and we couldn't help but pull through. She was engaging and entertaining all in one. Some days she would get sidetracked and just tell us a story about something...then the bell would ring and we would go on our way. The paper was still due on the due date, however!
We shared some things in common, she told me. I had lost a son; she had lost a daughter, long ago. She also had experienced some near-death scenarios and wanted to share those insights with me. Energy never dies, she explained. Life energy goes on even after the body is dead and decomposed. That is why you can feel your departed love ones, I guess, because their energy still exists all around you.
I know I feel Andrew's energy really strongly, the same way I feel my mother and father's energy from time to time. I can feel when Andrew is with me; so can the girls. It's hard to explain to people, but we feel it. They still keep his bedroom intact at the house, although recently they have made some changes. Becca is using his dresser now, so the clothes inside had to be put away or redistributed. I hope Bill and the boys are using them.
I remember Jayne had tried to keep the room shut for the first month or so after Andrew's death...she could smell his scent in there and wanted to preserve it for as long as possible. When we were over at the house last, the girls and Bill and I sat on his bed and talked, and remembered him. It was comforting, being around Andrew's belongings...his TV, his computer, his books and posters and knick-knacks. He had meticulously organized his personal papers a few months before he left us.
Sitting in his room, surrounded by his things, made it seem like if he walked into the room right now it would be so normal. If we could only just give that energy his body back, and his mind, all intact! If only...
We know we will never be completely without you, Andrew, but we miss seeing you so much. We so look forward to seeing you again someday in the afterlife. Love you!